life, love, poetry, rhyming, romance, self, thoughts, Uncategorized

Underneath the gold vessels

I’m licking at liquid pins

And in the sins are quick flung flings

It’s not the people, it’s me

Naturally

Found underneath tight gold vessels

Are the mighty hearts I wrestle

And it’s not me, it’s you

Can’t you just look at me, too?

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passion, poetry, rhyming, romance, self, Uncategorized

Free

I can see you opening a box

Pale blue and glowing

And inside that box is the thing

That I’ve dreamed of knowing.

I think you’re able to see it

Whenever you have desired

But I’ve been searching for it

For so long and I’m so tired.

My heart suddenly realized

Why I’ve been so enamored

It was the recognition of you

Within me, the illusion shattered.

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blogging, depression, life, loneliness, love, passion, poetry, sadness, self, thoughts, Uncategorized

An Ode to My Greatest Challenge

Why can’t I let myself draw?

Do I loathe who I am so much that

When I sit down, either cross-legged or

One leg up on my stool at the desk

I freeze

My heart, my brain, my hand

The muscles are failing and sore because

Apparently I trained… myself, to do this… to myself

From a very young age.

I’m a protector.

If it can’t be perfect, then I don’t make the attempt

And if I don’t attempt, I cannot be mocked

For failing at the thing that I absolutely adore the most

The very thing that used to keep me alive.

I can’t let myself draw

Because then I don’t have to face that face in the mirror

The absolute adoring love hidden, somewhere in my house

That I apparently hid away long ago

In order to

Protect.

The love that I have been running away from

So that I don’t experience the disappointment

Of never feeling wanted

Or desired

And satisfied.

 

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life, love, poetry, rhyming, romance, self, sex, thoughts, Uncategorized

Almost There

I’ll never stop biting the liquid off of your back

Cheek leaning on the palm of my languid lack

It’s eating away like vinegar on my tongue

Dripping like an impulse of invigoration unsung

 

And then there’s the sound of the softness of your invitation

The hesitation in my lips and your musical sensation

In which I redirect the childlike mind running my heart

I dream of petrifying our past and finally getting our start

 

 

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life, love, poetry, self, thoughts, Uncategorized

A war bigger

In 1918 my grandma was born before the end of the war

Four years before my grandpa was born at the start

And one hundred something years on, I care

Too much for two islands in my heart

I still swear that ten years back my life began

From across a wide ocean, I spoke in tongues

Like an intraverse of spoken land

A war bigger than the world

I continue into the unspoken one

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life, passion, poetry, self, thoughts, Uncategorized

Sticking to my guts

I can’t stop telling this story

Of how my hands betray me

My fingertips slip then my foot trips

The darkness buttoning my insides

I want to stop telling this story

About my eyes shuddering in the mirror

Butterflies standing in hindsight

My eyelashes fluttering, their wings spring

Up and back into my stomach

Tummy rumbling like volcanic ash

Sticking to my guts like this story

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